I don't know...I definitely still think that I am out here for a reason. I really DO like it here. It's definitely a good sign that I haven't really considered going home every time something did not work out right. I still really want to be here even with the traffic and the fact that I live in The Valley (which I actually really like so I still don't understand why it gets such a bad wrap - Ohio people you might not get this reference but I can explain it to you sometime.) Anyway, I have had a lot of time to think lately since I have been practically unemployed for about a month and a half. It's sad but I definitely feel like my life has more purpose when I have a job to go to every day. It is definitely nice not having all the distractions of work and having more time to work out and do some things that get pushed to the side but I am definitely getting to the point of frustration. It is so hard to be patient! I know that God has some sort of plan in all this but it's hard not to get a little restless while waiting. Some people I know have gone without work for five months so I am definitely feeling blessed with the few days worth of work I have gotten since my last full time PA job.
On the bright side, there have been more job postings on the Internet the last month that are entry-level so that's good. At least there has been more I can apply for. Most importantly, it has been a good time to refocus and at least try to discern where God might be leading me career-wise. As I said before, I am really no closer to figuring out what that looks like but at least I have the time to think about it and listen to whatever He wants to tell me. I have finally come to accept that even though I am so scared of failing and having to move home for financial reasons - not there yet - I have decided that I don't regret one minute of taking the leap of faith to move here. I have grown so much in my walk with Christ. I have been praying for years that God would help me take our relationship to the next level (not to sound cliche). For so long I have wanted to see how far my faith would go when really put to the test. Granted this test is pretty mild compared to being a martyr but I know that if I would have stayed in Ohio - in my comfort zone - that I would definitely not be as in love with God as I am now. It's hard trusting Him with my finances, my family, and trying to build a new life out here but He has shown himself to be so faithful and I am continually learning what it means to really put my faith in Him every day.
Enough about the job woes though. I have so many things to be thankful for and one of them is the fact that I will be going home soon to see my family for the first time since I left Ohio. I am soo excited to see them! I will be home Thurs, July 30-Thurs, August 6 so if anyone wants to hang out - let me know. I would love to see as many people as I can. I am also very excited to go home since I will be able to celebrate the marriage of my former roommate, Kelly, and see the other 804 girls. I can't wait! As always, I have to put in a good word about my A-mazing roommates here in Cali - without whom I would have gone running back to Ohio a long time ago and the great new friends I have made out here. One of the best things about LA is the fact that so many people here have a similar story to mine. They moved out here to start a new career and don't have family nearby so everyone becomes each others family. Many of us are a bunch of misfits but it's great to feel the love from people you just met and can instantly connect with them because they often truly know how you are feeling about your own transition and vice versa. The church I have finally settled on is great as well and really challenges me to move closer to Christ. It has also provided some great fellowship. Even though I have only been going to the church for about 6 weeks on a regular basis and a small group about the same time, I already feel so close to the people there. My small group has very mature and incredibly loving and unselfish people. I haven't experience such great community with Christians in a very long time and in such a short time too. So praise the Lord for that!
Well that's about it for now. I still have so much to be thankful for and I hope that you are encouraged today knowing that God will truly take care of us when we seek Him with an open heart. A God that has the power to create the earth out of nothing can certainly take care of us especially when he knows what we need even when we don't. I hope He allows me to stay longer and continue this adventure with Him.
Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV (one of my top 5 favorite verses)
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."